Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Short Fat Toddler

Mr. Shain: I need to get this prescription filled.

Pharmacist: Alright, what’s the date of birth for the patient?

Mr. Shain: October 30, 2004.

Pharmacist: So he’s got a birthday just around the corner.

Mr. Shain: Uh-huh, guess so.

Pharmacist: I’m sorry, there seems to be a mistake on this Rx. The weight is listed as 50 pounds.

Mr. Shain: No, that’s correct, we just weighed him.

Pharmacist: No, he couldn’t possibly weigh that much.

Mr. Shain: What? Why? He’s really fit. Dr. Biles said he’s the perfect size.

Pharmacist: Well how tall is he?

Mr. Shain: How tall? I have no idea. Maybe a foot 'n a half? Why?

Pharmacist: So you’re telling your three year old son is only 18 inches tall, weighs 50 pounds, and your pediatrician thinks he’s fine? Do you realize the average three year old is twice as tall and half the weight of your son?

Mr. Shain: My dog.

Pharmacist: What?

Mr. Shain: My dog. The average weight of a three year old is half the weight of my dog. Did you notice that the Rx was written by a vet?

Pharmacist: Oh.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Silk Soy Sex

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*Now with condom in every gallon!*

Monday, October 8, 2007

I Heart Teaching

Teaching college freshman is like giving yourself a big hug. Not really, it’s more like this—only not as glamorous. And there is certainly no craft services table (catering). I wanted to take this opportunity to share a few quotes from my students’ recent papers:

“The Bible is considered the most accurate book in the world.”

“Trying to comprehend a being that is all power is in a sense a waste of time.”

“My dog is not very intelligent.”

"Without Christianity there would not be any diversity in the world."


“The complexity of nature is obvious. Nature is complex.”

“The Big Bang is a theory that gives evidence for the Bible.”

“evil monkey-squirrel god”

“Where we live a sinful life and die.”

“Therefore, one can conclude that since the Bible is entirely accurate then God does exist.”


“Blaise Pascal, a credible Philosopher of the 17th century, spread his seeds to many fields.”

“incorrect fallacies”

“Faith in God is something personal that should not be challenged by a theory or thesis.”