Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Short Fat Toddler

Mr. Shain: I need to get this prescription filled.

Pharmacist: Alright, what’s the date of birth for the patient?

Mr. Shain: October 30, 2004.

Pharmacist: So he’s got a birthday just around the corner.

Mr. Shain: Uh-huh, guess so.

Pharmacist: I’m sorry, there seems to be a mistake on this Rx. The weight is listed as 50 pounds.

Mr. Shain: No, that’s correct, we just weighed him.

Pharmacist: No, he couldn’t possibly weigh that much.

Mr. Shain: What? Why? He’s really fit. Dr. Biles said he’s the perfect size.

Pharmacist: Well how tall is he?

Mr. Shain: How tall? I have no idea. Maybe a foot 'n a half? Why?

Pharmacist: So you’re telling your three year old son is only 18 inches tall, weighs 50 pounds, and your pediatrician thinks he’s fine? Do you realize the average three year old is twice as tall and half the weight of your son?

Mr. Shain: My dog.

Pharmacist: What?

Mr. Shain: My dog. The average weight of a three year old is half the weight of my dog. Did you notice that the Rx was written by a vet?

Pharmacist: Oh.

31 comments:

Michael5000 said...

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Will said...

I understand it's a mistake but it was really none of the pharmacists business if you had a fat baby.

the slackmistress said...

The last time I took my dog's Rx to the pharmacy, the Pharmacist told me that her niece was named Peanut, too.

blythe said...

you fill vet scrips at a regular pharmacist? there's no special vet pharmacist? really? also, i was a foot and a half 50 pound toddler. it's called big boned, not fat.

5 of 9er said...

Nice! Classic!

The Yellow Dart said...

Quit whining. My pharmacist doesn't even speak English.

Mr. Shain said...

on a totally unrelated but ironic not, i in fact do have a 3 year old son named peanut who weighs 50 pounds.

G said...

*snort* Oh, those silly pharmacists.

blythe said...

well, well, well. look how everyone comments on your post today. so quit your whining. people have forgotten i even have a blog. and rightly so.

mark said...

those dogs have had more money spent on them in healthcare in their short lives than i have in my 32 years... they might as well be people.

d said...

ok. i'll give you this. it was actually a funny post. 'bout time.

d said...

oh and b, no one is commenting on your blog because every time we (and by we, i mean me and my five other personalities) try to look at it, it freezes up our web browser and won't let us do anything. fix that, will ya?

blythe said...

what? really? it freezes? blast! i don't have anything special going on. i hope you're using firefox, because otherwise, well, i just don't know about you. are others experiencing this or was it just a convenient excuse?

Anonymous said...

Shain Mockery: What does "foot in a half" mean? You mean "foot and a half" or "foot 'n a half"?

In other kill-joy news: In the pharmacist's defense, if the meds were for your kid, and if the doctor prescribed the wrong amount based on the wrong weight of the kid, and if your kid died of an overdose, you know you'd be suing the pharmacist for not double checking... I love this country.

Rebel said...

LOL!

Mr. Shain said...

super harsh anon. if i had to edit all of my post, then i'd have to read them. and there's nothing funny about reading my blog. wait... no that's right.

regarding the pharm defense: you've missed the point. the funny ha-ha came from someone seemingly telling me my dog was impossibly large.

and finally, why are you posting anonly since we BOTH know who you are. (zingeroo!)

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I see that you've been making good progress on your blog since I've been gone. 17 responses - surely this is somekind of record for you? Granted, half of them are from you and Blythe, but still...

Just kidding.

Not really tough.

sybil law said...

That was really funny.
"Sir, your son is like some sort of fat midget."
Hahahaha

blythe said...

who was anon? i want to know. i think we might have a lot in common. like loving to make fun of you.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I think Anon is Shain's mom.

Michael5000 said...

Hey, Anonymous!

So your opinion is, if a doctor and pharmacist both screw up and prescribe a child a lethal dose of medicine, that's just the breaks of the game and they shouldn't be held liable?

Good thinkin'! Not only would it end all those whiney lawsuits, but it would cut education costs too.

(Sorry to disrespect your mom, Mr. Shain.)

crimenotes said...

This story amuses me.

jen said...

Haha! Best story I've read in a while.

Anonymous said...

1) Michael5000 - While the doctor would obviously be liable for malpractice, that doesn't mean that the pharmacist should also be liable if he accurately filled the prescription per the doctor's order (assuming it's not ordinarily within his duty to rediagnose the patient). What if the doctor had been fatally wrong about the child's weight, but that weight was within a range that appeared normal?

2) Shain - of course I want you to know who it is. But I do think your readers should be more respectful of me, seeing as how I gave you life and all. Oh, and I know the point of the story, but I thought my post should have more content than pure Shain-Mockery.

Anonymous said...

fat children are funny

So@24 said...

"Got 'em coach!"

Michael5000 said...

I love this country.

blythe said...

really? we're still talking about this?

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Really? we're still forced to look at this smae lame post from last week?

Mr. Shain said...

i love you all for commenting.

blythe said...

yeah right.