Monday, October 8, 2007

I Heart Teaching

Teaching college freshman is like giving yourself a big hug. Not really, it’s more like this—only not as glamorous. And there is certainly no craft services table (catering). I wanted to take this opportunity to share a few quotes from my students’ recent papers:

“The Bible is considered the most accurate book in the world.”

“Trying to comprehend a being that is all power is in a sense a waste of time.”

“My dog is not very intelligent.”

"Without Christianity there would not be any diversity in the world."

“plethoric”

“The complexity of nature is obvious. Nature is complex.”

“The Big Bang is a theory that gives evidence for the Bible.”

“evil monkey-squirrel god”

“Where we live a sinful life and die.”

“Therefore, one can conclude that since the Bible is entirely accurate then God does exist.”

“Wikipedia…”

“Blaise Pascal, a credible Philosopher of the 17th century, spread his seeds to many fields.”

“incorrect fallacies”

“Faith in God is something personal that should not be challenged by a theory or thesis.”

19 comments:

Big Daddy said...

Where are you teaching, BYU?

Plethoric is a word though.

Looks like someone got a 'word of the day' calendar for Christmas.

Mr. Shain said...

***FYI, plethoric is a word, i am aware***

but try using it in a sentence without sounding like a dumbass. just because you can use a word doesn't mean you should use that word.

Will said...

what are you teaching?

blythe said...

see, look, i didn't need to start the comments.

crimenotes said...

That's what you get for teaching Sunday School.

Mr. Shain said...

it's freshman intro to philosophy

The Yellow Dart said...

In Oklahoma, isn't that the same thing?

Jess said...

Oh, kids. They're so dumb.

Michael5000 said...

This is giving me bad college teaching flashbacks.

Flunk 'em all, let god sort 'em out.

sybil law said...

That is really funny and really horrifying. My friend used to teach inner city public school first graders. The papers she had to grade were downright scary and yet, funny as hell.
No wonder you seem sorta bitter. :)

5 of 9er said...

Wikipedia... the new source for freshman "smartness" - love it!

d said...

things like this always make me wonder if i was this dumb as a college freshman. i probably was, but i like to think that they just make them stupider and stupider every year.

blythe said...

i heart bleaching.

Michael5000 said...

Weren't you working in some kind of GlenGarry Glen Ross suit 'n' tie sweatshop earlier this year? How does that jibe with teaching intro college philosophy?

blythe said...

good question, m5k. good question.

So@24 said...

I started cracking up at my desk at your reference to The Miracle Worker!

Absolutely brilliant.

Rebel said...

“The complexity of nature is obvious. Nature is complex.”

so complext it should be reiterated and repeated, redundantly.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I heart anal bleaching.

Deutlich said...

All i can say is, "ouch."