I’ve recently been asked by readers to blog about the man behind Mr. Shain, the real Shain. To these readers I say, “Fuck off, this isn’t a diary.” Instead, here’s a blow-by-blow recap of my July 4th holiday.
7:30 am Wake up, look at clock, go back to bed.
8:00 am Get out of bed. Read blogs, CNN, and New York Times. Check sitemeter.
10:00 am Breakfast at Eat Well with Bryan, JB, Robert, Steven, and Mark. I order an omelet with cheddar, mushrooms, and spinach—they don’t have green onions. I also drink a coke. Whole wheat toast on the side, but I don’t touch it.
12:30 pm Spin class; vomit.
1:30 pm Walk over to Jose’s BBQ. We buy beer, Red Bull, and macaroni on the way.
3:00 pm After a few beers, the Wii-mbledon doubles tennis tournament begins. I’m partnered with Brendan.
4:30 pm Brendan and I place second after a final round match against JP and Steven (2-6, 6-4, 7-6). There were 8 match points. It was crushing. Also, we are sweating like pigs at this point. There was a minor wii-njury during the tourney.
6:00 pm Bryan, Mark, and I spend quality time in the garden together. More typical fag conversation about shit… I don’t remember. Rum and coke now. Gourmet burgers with blue cheese stuffed in the middle are grilled by Robert. We love Robert. Also, amazing guacamole is prepared by JP. We love JP. Mark heads to second party; I stay.
8:00 pm Seriously, I have no idea where the last two hours went. Meeka, Bryan, Brandon, Dan, and I talk about [insert intellectual topic here]. I think Scooter Libby came up. Steven and I have a meaning conversation about losing faith in government. Red Bull? Yes please. Meeka, Dan, JP, and Brendan get really, really into playing Super Mario Brothers.
9:00 pm We head to the roof to watch fireworks. West Hollywood is a horrible place to do this—too far from both downtown and the beaches (where the good shows are) and it’s so smoggy you can’t really see shit. We get locked on the roof. Brendan, Steven, and Dan are really fucked up now. JP is picking up cigarette butts. Steven almost drops his iphone off the roof. Meeka and I watch the mess.
10:30 pm Wii-mbledon singles tournament ends in my triumphant defeat of Brandon (6-3, 6-2) and being crowned wii-champion. I get a wii-trophy. I suffer from wii-elbow.
11:30 pm Brendan has his first-ever deposition in the morning and is still a little bit sloppy drunk. JP attempts to hydrate him. Dan is not helping. I decide this is the end of the road for my holiday—I still have to get home and blog. This shit doesn’t blog itself.
Key words for the day: Heineken, Mexicans, Degas, constitutional law, Nintendo, manchowder, Kathy Griffin, iPhone, Honduras, French post structuralism, chasm, awkwardness bomb
10 comments:
What the hell is going on with your comments section??
I don't even remember what exactly I wanted to comment about this morning. Except maybe that its sad you put an end to what seemed a nice day by leaving early to blog about it.
2 things:
1. what did you do with the macarnoni?
2. do not ever EVER even think about making fun of my social life again. NEVER. (p.s. yesterday i went to a movie with my family, walked my dog, made di dinner, did some laundry, got bombed... no fireworks.)
yes, everyone lost their comment thunder. i'm a little sad.
::cherry & blythe:: seriously why do i do this? i could just send you two a little email everyday and save everyone some time.
::cherry:: leave early my ass, i was over there for like 10 freakin' hours. i had to get up and work today as well. perhaps you don't realize that i'm normally in bed by 10 on a school night. also, your boyfriend's blog is funny... maybe funnier than yours?
::blythe:: the macaronni was eaten. it was delicious. why are you always threatening me in my comments section? why can't i make fun of your social life? it's ripe for jest--you spent the day with your family and then got drunk alone in your room. what's NOT to make fun of about that? i drank and watched fireworks with friends, i.e. i'm a normal american.
Yeah, my boyfriend is certainly funnier than I am. And less pathetic.
Blythe: While you know I love you and normally agree with everything you say, I have to side with Mr. Shain on this one. Spending the holiday with your family and doing laundry is just not cool. I tell you this as a friend.
shain - you just ate a box of macaroni? i am a foodie. i need details. and i wasn't alone in my room drinking. the whole time. also, remember that night we went to the freaky east side liquor store and you bought a bottle of wine for yourself that night. yeah. i do.
cherry - we're friends? for real? now i have three!
god this is all so sad.
talk about awkwardness bomb.
"7:30 am Wake up, look at clock, go back to bed."
I think I do this everyday too...
MsP
I watched Kathy Griffin at least once a day my entire vacation.
i'm so living the blog version of "my life on the D-list"
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