Monday, July 30, 2007

The Simpsons Movie (Gone Wild)


What was originally supposed to be brunch and matinee showing of The Simpsons movie, somehow turned into brunch followed by mimosas followed by mojitos and spending the entire afternoon at the bar. By the time the 7:00 pm showing of The Simpsons rolled around, it somehow seemed like a great idea to go to the movie completely faded.

Things were jolly good until we got in line for concessions. A standing-on-one-leg contest was initiated, ending with Shemeka falling into the couple behind us. Jose tried to buy cigarettes with his popcorn from the concessions lady. Steven hit on a couple gave them his phone number. Once we made it into the film, Jose fell down getting to his seat, although once seated, he prompted fell asleep—only waking when the woman behind him kicked his seat because he was snoring. Shemeka also fell asleep, though did not snore. Good times.

On the way home Steven admitted that he’d forgotten to “tidy up” this morning before his housekeeper came over. After she left, Steven went into his bedroom to discover that she had organized his collection of cockrings. He’s looking for a new housekeeper now. Am I the only one who’s embarrassed about his friends?

19 comments:

blythe said...

1) drunk blogging again, eh? you can't judge me anymore. also, does this mean when i talked to you yesterday and you were trying to tell me that video was funny you were a bit bombed? because that would make sense.

2) you have friends with housekeepers (i mean janitors)?

5 of 9er said...

How would one organize them?

Mr. Shain said...

:blythe:: most of my friends have housekeepers. what's your point?

::9er:: i didn't see the display, nor do i own any of my own, so i'm not really sure. but, i imagine you could go with an olympic rings motif, or perhaps largest to smallest? you should ask [cherry] what he does with all of his.

stewpid said...

it's so hard to find good cock ring organizing help these days.

blythe said...

will you hire me as your housekeeper? i could use the extra monkey lettuce for cockrings.

Will said...

You have to assume that any cleaner who will organize the cock rings is a cleaner worth keeping.

d said...

totally. why is he looking for a new one?

i say, that housekeeper is a keeper.

(your friends sound entertaining as hell, but hard to be with in public)

are we also to assume that you did absolutely nothing stupid? or did you just leave out the juicy bits?

Mr. Shain said...

::stwepid:: i wouldn't know. or would i? no, i wouldn't.

::blythe:: not if you talk like that. i can't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth (metaphorically).

::will:: i guess i agree. after that, you could pretty much be assured that she'd clean ANYTHING. of course, there is the possibility she thought they were very small bracelets for very tiny wrists.

::d:: my friends are much better on paper. i will have to confess now that i was completely sober throughout this fiasco (sadly).

Jeff said...

I went to see Harry Potter drunk (me not Harry) last Thursday. The drinking was fun but the movie wasn't.

blythe said...

oh, so you weren't drunk when you called me and made me watch the unfunny video. this changes things. also, if you actually read my blog, you would know what monkey lettuce is.

Michael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michael5000 said...

Other than that, how was the movie, Mrs. Lincoln?

stewpid said...

monkey lettuce hahahaha

hahahahahahahahaha

hahaha

ha

haha

hahahahahahahahahahaha

Will said...

It took me three hours to think of a wittier response but I'm not wasting it:

"To be honest I prefer the cleaner to straighten my cock not my cock rings. "

I'll be here all week folks.

blythe said...

see, someone gets it.

Mr. Shain said...

::jeff:: i think i like you

::blythe:: you know i don't read your blog; stop acting surprised. and don't tell people about the video yet! i'm still thinking about it.

::michael5000:: i'll save the review for tomorrow's post. why am i mary todd?

::stewpid:: don't encourage her.

::will:: zing! how did the slackmistress enjoy that one?

::blythe:: no comment.

michael5000 said...

Old Joke: "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

stewpid said...

ok this is like five days late but here's my comment

"No! You're not the only one embarrassed about your friends! We're embarrassed about your friends too!"

Sorry that took so long. I kept having to do errands and work and stuff.

The Cajun Boy said...

initially, i had no interest in seeing this. now i'm dying to.