Thursday, June 7, 2007

I'm Still an A-Hole

Yesterday, the hopes and dreams of a young Los Angeles Associate in my office came crashing down around him when he was fired—over the phone. Yes, we are big-time a-holes at my company, the whole lot of us. The best part of the sordid tale is that I was brought into this office to hire and train his replacement two weeks before they actually fired they guy. I just slowly started “helping” him with projects and “taking things off his plate.” The day before he got axed, he came into my office to ask if there was anything he could help me with because “I feel like there really isn’t anything for me to do here anymore.” Ironic isn’t it. I replied in my most cheery voice, “No, I’m all set here, thanks!” Because we’re a-holes, the VP fired him over the phone, after lunch; he cried a little. I secretly took pictures with my camera phone while pretending to call building security. I emailed them to colleagues who printed them on 8x10 glossies and hung them up in the kitchen. We are a-holes. Speaking of… we’re looking to hire a new a-hole to join out team. Email me if this sounds like a place you’d like to work.

9 comments:

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Sign me up.

blythe said...

you should come back so you can help me literally take things off my plate. it's summer and the beach is calling.

also, check your email for my resume.

Mr. Shain said...

Jesse says hi.

The Yellow Dart said...

I know I'm gullible, so I have to check. You're not serious. Right? Right??

Dan said...

Sometimes your life reminds me of an episode of the Riches. But maybe that's just me being a buffer.

Mr. Shain said...

cherry: email me a cover letter and resume, Attn: Senior Associate A-Hole.

blythe: i looked at your resume, not enough high-weath client a-hole management experience, sorry.

yellow: yes, 100% serious; it's funnny 'cuz it's true.

dan: i've never seen the Riches, but i just looked it up on IMDB.com and i don't know what to say. i do like the idea of identity theft though.

nita said...

new here, but highly qualified. i spend my days with a snarky almost 3 year old and i have only myself to blame :)

and

i filmed her first temper tantrum and youtubed it so, you know, there's the whole 'not afraid of using multi media inappropriately' thing going for me ... lemme know. i'm so desperate for a change of pace you could pay me in frigging tomato sandwiches ...

blythe said...

shain, i just looked at your resume and you're overqualified in the a-hole department. zing!

Catherinette Singleton said...

When will you post the pics here? I love other people's misery!