Mystery Vegan

This weekend, Mark and I braved the Valley to attend a friend’s 30th birthday dinner in Tarzana at a quaint little vegan restaurant called Madeline’s. This frightened me because it meant I was going to be both eating vegan food and driving in the Valley. I’ll say upfront that the meal was not bad and I have no cause for complaint. However, I was completely puzzled regarding the menu. It was filled with items such as “Spare Ribs,” “Chicken Seitan,” (which I had) and “Cheese Platter,” none of which came with descriptions of what was actually in the food you were ordering. Why the hell would anyone order a cheese platter at a vegan restaurant? Do vegans want to pretend they’re eating meat so badly that they can’t even acknowledge the textured vegetable protein patties that actually make up the faux-chicken? I think this is odd. Towards the end of the meal a bug landed in my water glass, and I seriously considered eating it just to spite the restaurant.